Lost
by onceisms
Summary: Emma's phone is filled with concerned voicemails as she struggles with the latest tragedy.


_Very first fanfiction. Appreciate any and all feedback :)_

_Lost_

"_Emma? Emma sweetheart please pick up. It's been two weeks. You need to get out of the house... your father and I are very worried about you… and Henry… Emma he shouldn't need to be dealing with this alone. You may have lost a wife, your true love, but Henry also lost someone, don't let him deal with this alone."_

_oooooo_

"_Emma, Snow and I are extremely worried, we know this is a difficult time and we're all devastated but she wouldn't want this." Charming sighed deeply. "Just… just know that we're here for you and that we love you."_

___oooooo_

"_Hey Emma its Rubes, you know the late shift is pretty dull without you." Ruby let out a small chuckle before her voice softened. "I tried the mansion the other day but you didn't answer… Emma it's not your fault. It was a terrible accident. And as much as it hurts these things happen and holing yourself up isn't going to help. You have people that are here for you and that want to help you, if you'll allow us too. Granny and I will drop off some muffins later. Take care of yourself."_

_____oooooo_

"… _well this isn't how our esteemed Mayor would picture her wife behaving, now isn't it? What of their young boy Henry? She's neglecting my grandson. Poor boy didn't even react when I bought him that new video game he'd been asking for." Some shifting was heard before Belle's soft spoken voice spoke. ""Rumple, be nice…. He didn't mean it Emma. He just doesn't show grief very well. Henry is doing fine but he does miss you terribly. He needs you Emma now more than ever. We're very sorry once more about Regina. Please don't hesitate to come to us for anything."_

_____oooooo_

"_Emma its Neal, I know you feel like everything's hopeless but you have to realize you're not alone. Sure take as much time as you need to grieve as you should but please think of Henry. He doesn't need his grandparents, either set of them, or a variety of surrogate aunts and uncles, or even me, his father. He needs you. Regina was a friend to many of us, we all miss her..."_

_____oooooo_

"_Mom? I know you're sad, I miss her too. But I want to come home. I want to be with you." Small sniffles made their way through. "I feel like I'm losing both of my moms."_

___oooooo_

"_Okay Emma, it's August, enough with all of this moping around and hiding yourself away in that empty mansion. Do you really think Regina of all people would be okay with you locking yourself at home and neglecting your family and friends? You're stronger than this, I know you are and that's why I'm coming over. I'm bringing reinforcements so don't bother resisting. See you in a few."_

_____oooooo_

"_Emma Swan you answer this phone this instant!" Snow's tone of voice was practically seething with rage. "I don't know where the hell you went but this is not okay. Haven't we already been through this? Enough running, Emma, you come back home this instant or so help me…"_

_____oooooo_

"_Emma come on, please come back. I can hardly bear seeing the look of my son, your son's face. No kid should ever look as devastated and as lost as he does right now."_

_____oooooo_

"_Did you have to go underground?" Ruby's annoyance almost masked the worry in her voice as she spoke. "You know I can't track things as easily underground as I can above ground. Sheesh Emma this isn't funny anymore."_

_____oooooo_

_"Hey, Dr Whale here. I want to apologize for the abruptness of the nurses, letting something loose like that. Be rest assured they've been reprimanded. They haven't told anyone else if it's any condolence. I'm very sorry you had to find out that way. Why don't you just come home to your family you've worried so many people that just want to know if you're safe."_

_____oooooo_

"_Everyone's looking for you mom… Gramps, and Grandma, dad and August are even getting along looking for you… Ashley, Sean, Ruby, Jefferson and Grace, Granny, Astrid, Mother Superior, the dwarves, Kathryn and Fred, even Rumpelstiltskin and Belle. But we still can't find you. Where did you go mom? Are you okay are you hurt? Is this why you're not answering? When are you coming back?"_

_____oooooo_

"_Emma Dr Whale told us..." Charming fought to keep the emotion out of his voice, feeling his wife's hand slipping into his in support. "… We're so sorry Emma. We didn't know… but please come home, now more than ever do you need your family."_

_____oooooo_

_Emma sat on the front porch of a cabin deep in the forests of Storybrooke-the cabin had been a gift to Regina for their first anniversary-fiddling with the silver band of her wedding ring as she replayed that awful voice message that had haunted her for the past month._

_**One month earlier…**_

_**June 30 4:44 pm **_

"_**Hey… I know you're upset and you have every right after I snapped at you but I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm leaving early and hopefully my little surprise for you will make up for everything. I've missed you. Is it absurd of me to say that when we've only been apart for a few hours?" A soft laugh twinkled over through the phone line. "Never mind, I'm locking up. I'll be home soon. I love you, Emma."**_

_Another tear streaked down her cheek, she was surprised she was still able to cry, she'd done a good portion of crying over the weeks. _

_Life had thrown many things her way over the past years, and she'd handled things to the best of her ability but this time, she couldn't. She was lost, in every sense of the word._

_She just couldn't face the fact that her wife, her lover, her best friend, her… everything was gone. She couldn't face the cold burdened truth that the last words she'd spoken to her were out of frustration and anger, not words of praise and adoration or love. She couldn't face the fact that everyone in town had finally forgiven Regina and were moving on. She couldn't face the fact that these people, that so many of them had showed up to the former evil queen's funeral, all truly and deeply saddened and with heartfelt condolences. She couldn't handle the many pleas for her to get better._

_At least until one late Thursday evening._

_She'd been hoping to get lost with a bottle of scotch, but the more she drank the more she just lost control of her emotions. In a final fit of anger she'd thrown the bottle angrily to the ground, the burgundy crystallized bottle shattering into a million pieces reminiscent to how her own heart was feeling. That thought only left her to drop to her knees, her hands falling forward to slow her fall, forgetting momentarily of the millions of pieces of broken sharp glass. _

_She didn't know how long she sat there, jeans soaked in alcohol, head pounding, arms and hands tingling with fresh cuts, before she hoisted herself up and out the front door. _

_The long walk to the hospital helped to clear her mind slightly as she realized that this was it. She needed to end this, and she would, she'd go straight to pick up her son and apologize profusely, right after she'd have Dr. Whale check her out. _

_But again life didn't deem her well enough to recover just yet._

_The nurses were finishing wrapping gauze on her hands when they let loose a piece of news that put her right back down the rabbit hole. She'd shoved the nurse away from her, pushing past the many protests and just ran straight out of the building. She didn't stop until she reached the cabin._

_Emma couldn't face the fact that Regina was dead but she mostly couldn't handle the fact that… that her pregnant wife died rushing home to her._


End file.
